Divorcing A Narcissist in California (2024)

Divorcing someone is already overwhelming enough, but it can become even more contentious when dealing with someone who might engage in manipulatory or deceitful behavior in the process. When divorcing a narcissist in California, you can face a particularly challenging journey because of the negative mental health these individuals experience. Understanding how California’s divorce laws work can help protect you and empower you to face the challenges of divorce.

Understanding Narcissism in the Context of Divorce

Someone who is a narcissist embodies more than just a simple personality flaw. The condition enables someone to display a certain pattern of behavior that can be characterized as having either a lack of empathy, a constant need for admiration, or the tendency to exploit others. In addition, a narcissist will continuously manipulate situations to meet their own needs.

When a narcissist learns that a divorce may be in their future, they might use different tactics to try and gain control of the situation. In some instances, they might want to punish their spouse for putting them in this situation by either purposefully dragging out the legal process or hiding marital assets to keep them. Some narcissists might even manipulate their children by encouraging them to say they only want to live under their roof post-divorce.

Key Considerations When Facing Narcissists

The state of California operates under the no-fault rule, meaning that neither the narcissist nor their spouse is required to prove that either party engaged in any wrongful behavior that is triggering the need to split. However, this can leave the spouse divorcing the narcissist feeling inadequate by not holding their partner accountable. Some key considerations to minimize the impact of their narcissistic tendencies post-divorce include:

• Child custody. In many cases, a narcissist with children will use them to their benefit. They often see their children as an extension of themselves and will use them as a chess piece to keep a divorce battle contentious to get what they want.Documenting any manipulative or harmful behavior that should be considered when making a new custody arrangement. Depending on how bad their actions have been, this could reduce or remove their parental rights, potentially leaving them with visitation sessions only.
• Asset division and financial control. Many narcissists will try to hide or control specific marital assets to keep them for themselves and have the upper hand in the divorce. This is an illegal move in the eyes of the court, as California practices community property laws, which means that everything should be divided equally.If you can prove that certain assets were purposefully hidden, this could be a huge advantage for your case in court to get closer to the outcome you want.
• Spousal support. Narcissists have also been found to try and manipulate spousal support arrangements to their advantage as well. In any normal divorce, the courts will try to quantify what standard of living the couple established together throughout their marriage. They will then issue monthly spousal support payments to the lower-earning spouse so they can keep that standard of living on their own.

Whether there is evidence of manipulation with a child, hiding assets, or deliberate lying to avoid spousal support, these issues need to be addressed through an attorney. Showing their deliberate act to manipulate the system can influence the court’s decision and minimize the outcomes of these life-altering decisions. If you are faced with divorcing a narcissist, you will need to lean on the advice and support of your attorney, who will communicate on your behalf.

FAQs

How Do You Prove Narcissistic Abuse in Court?

The number one strategy to prove narcissistic abuse in court is to present compelling evidence that shows manipulative, selfish behavior that is deliberate in its efforts to deceive. Most attorneys will recommend you document as much of their behavior as you can, such as texts or voice messages that show them engaging in verbally abusive behavior or trying to try to control or intimidate you. Unbiased witness testimonies can complement this evidence to make the story even clearer.

How Do You Outsmart a Narcissist in a Divorce?

Outsmarting a person with narcissistic behaviors in a divorce requires you to stay strategic and prepared without stooping to their level. A narcissist thrives on conflict, making it extremely important you keep your own emotions in check and avoid having strong reactions to their provocations. Rather, work with your divorce attorney to present indisputable evidence that communicates your ex-spouse’s condition and combats any misguided or unfair attempts to manipulate the divorce outcome.

How Does a Narcissist Act When You Divorce Them?

When a person with narcissistic behaviors becomes aware that someone wants to divorce them, they are likely to become angry or try to regain control of the situation through manipulation. This might encourage them to start making false accusations about your own character or dragging their feet to prolong the case. They may also engage in vindictive behavior to try to punish you by producing fabricated evidence that makes it seem like you are exaggerating their character.

Do Judges Recognize a Narcissist?

While a judge is not a mental health professional who is trained to diagnose someone as a narcissist, they may pick up on certain patterns or unsavory behaviors that try to manipulate and control the divorce case. A judge may never even use the term narcissist in court but will rather explicitly state the negative behavior that is influencing their final verdict. An attorney’s responsibility is to highlight behaviors that prove misleading or deceitful behavior.

California Divorce Attorney

Navigating the divorce process is already challenging enough without adding narcissistic behaviors to the mix. This is why at Moranda Law Firm, APC, we use our knowledge and experience to help navigate these difficult processes. We fight for you and will do everything in our power to prevent your narcissistic spouse from manipulating the outcome of your divorce. Contact us today to get started. You deserve to take the next step in your life with confidence.